A Modern Spin on Christmas Music

I saw this yesterday and it made my day.  It's sure to bring you some holiday cheer.

I think my heart just melted.

I get on facebook this morning and this is what I see. It's some of the kids at MBHOH dressed up in a nativity scene. Just when I thought I couldn't be more in love. This is what this time of year is about. Christ came to the world to save these kids and me and you, so that we could be adopted into his family. As you're partaking in all of the wonderful festivities of the holidays, remember how lucky you are to be surrounded by loved ones and say a prayer for kids all over the world just like these, that they would soon join their forever families and get to enjoy this beautiful holiday season surrounded by people who love them.

thankful

Thanksgiving was this past Thursday. Sometimes, I am so worried about what I don't have that I forget to be Thankful for what I do have.  Here are a few things I am thankful for right now:

D-Now 2010: Surrender

This weekend was an absolute blast! Sunday night, I got to go to the Night With The Chapmans and visit with some of my beautiful China family, there will be another post coming soon all about that. Thursday-Sunday, I had the wonderful opportunity to lead a group of ballin' 9th grade girls at my home church's D-Now weekend. The theme was Surrender and it was all about letting go of the things of this world and fully giving our lives to Christ. I have to admit, this curriculum not only had a huge impact on the kids, but was extremely convicting to me as well. Thinking back to how I was as a freshman girl, I had serious doubts about how things would go but these girls totally surprised me! They are so open and honest and our discussions were incredible. I was so blessed to be a part of this incredible weekend!

This Christmas, let your shopping mean something!

Looking for a way to support adoption this Christmas? Check out this list of awesome handmade items from families raising money towards their adoption! 

Click here to check it out!

Orphan Sunday

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27


I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Isaiah 1:17

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

Our God is a God of adoption! He cares deeply for orphans. He is the defender of the fatherless. As Christians, we should care for orphans, because they are so dear to the heart of God. We have all been adopted in to God's kingdom. We were all orphans once. Go to the orphans in need as an act of praise of the adoption that has taken place in your own life because of Jesus! Click here for some ideas of how you can show hope to the 147 million orphans around the globe!

November is Adoption Awareness Month

Comment for a Good Cause

Click Here to read the story about the Wright family adoption then comment on the story. $2 will be donated to Show Hope for every comment posted. It is so quick and easy and goes to a cause that is so dear to my heart!

Fall Break

After class last Friday, I was really down about school. You can read about that here. Needless to say, fall break came at the perfect time. It was a much needed time to relax and refocus.

Friday: my dad came in town to visit my grandparents. It was so good to hang out with him. We walked around the botanical gardens with my grandma and then had a wonderful home cooked dinner with the grandparents. That night, we saw the movie Life As We Know It and it was soooo cute!

Saturday: I had breakfast with the beautiful Caroline Greene. It is always a blessing to be able to visit with the girls I went to China with. We all have this special bond and a common passion and it is great to talk to people who understand my love for China and Orphans. I went home Saturday afternoon and spent Friday night at coffee with my 2 bffs, Kathryn and Katie.

Sunday and Monday: I spent these 2 days reading the final book in the Huger Game series, Mockingjay. One of my camp friends, Hannah, got me hooked on this series and I finally had time read the last book on my break. It is soooo good and I highly recommend it to anyone.  When I finished Mockingjay, I started Mary Beth Chapman's book, Choosing to SEE. I bought it in August because there was a week were proceeds of the book would go to Show Hope and I finally got around to reading it. 

Tuesday: I woke up early so I could read Choosing to SEE. I kept saying that I would read one more chapter until finally I was almost done with the book and it was hours later. I had to stop reading because I was crying so hard that I could not see through my tears. I decided to save the rest of the book for later and got packed up to go home. I left for my 2 and half hour drive with a lot of questions for God. There is so much in this world that I don't understand. 

Every year around Fall Break, I get a little Christmas itch. Like most people, my favorite time of year is Christmas. I love everything thing about it, especially the music. I decided to pop in my favorite Christmas CD for the ride back to school. In my house, we do not do anything related to Christmas until Santa rides through in the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade, so my mother will not be happy to know that I pulled out the Christmas music a little early so let's keep that a secret. Anyway, as I'm listening to my Christmas music, I cling on to this theme of hope that is in all of the songs. There is so much wrong with the world, we humans have screwed up so bad but in the coming of a sweet little baby named Jesus, there is Hope. In the death of him on the cross, there is hope. When I got back to school, I finished up Mary Beth's book. The last chapter is named Spring is Coming after a song that is on her husband's latest cd. It is all about the hope we have for Jesus to bring us out of the dark places in our lives and make beauty from them. As you can tell from the overall theme of my blog, God's faithfulness has been the major thing that I have been learning for most of my Christian walk. God has proven his faithfulness in so many ways over the past years, especially, through my trip to China. Now, He has shifted focus to revealing a key aspect of faithfulness that I hadn't thought enough about, Hope. There is hope for those orphans, there is hope for this world, and there is hope for me.  I left for fall break really down but I came back with hope. I am looking forward to all that God has to teach me. 

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 

Hebrews 11:1

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:5


But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7

The Beautiful Caroline Greene!

hope does not disappoint

Ever since last semester, I have wondered if nursing is right for me. I don't know where it fits in anymore. School never fails to discourage me. Every time I pull together an ounce of confidence, something knocks it right out of me. I don't even think this is what I want to do anymore so why is God keeping me here? I have more questions that answers about my life right now. The only thing that I can cling to is the sweet words of my savior..."run the race with endurance...fix your eyes on Jesus...consider him so that you will not grow weary and lose heart"..."consider it a joy when you face trials...testing of faith produces perseverance".... "tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint"
Only God knows how this fits in to his plan. One day I'll see it but for now I will have to keep running this race called nursing school with my eyes fixed on Jesus. He holds the hope that I cling to when I see all that is wrong with this world. I know that my problems are so very small in comparison. I am going through this frustration now so that I "may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" and I can use what I learn to bring glory to his name. I just wish I could see the light at the end of this tunnel called nursing school. 

Hope. Believe. Obey. | Love the broken-hearted, forgotten, hidden, unwanted...the precious, beloved, adored, wanted, valuable...the ORPHAN

Hope. Believe. Obey. | Love the broken-hearted, forgotten, hidden, unwanted...the precious, beloved, adored, wanted, valuable...the ORPHAN

http://www.hopebelieveobey.com/

This family is adopting one of my sweet little MBHOH kids! Every little donation helps to cover their adoption costs!

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27

MBHOH Video

Click this link to watch a video of the kids at Maria over the summer. I can't believe how much older they seem to get by the end of the video. I wish I could be there right now to hold them and play with them. Praying for an opportunity to go back and for all of these kids to find their forever families soon!

Maria's Big House of Hope Summer Recap

I'd Love to Linger a Little Longer

The first of the lasts have begun. I can hardly believe that I just finished my last rush and it couldn't have gone better. There are no words to describe how truly blessed I am to be a part of such an amazing group of women.

Top 10 from Rush

1. Inch worm races
2. Bunny Bunny Bunny Bunny
3. Ricky Martin
4. Twinkle lights
5. Instant iced coffee
6. Doing the wave with voting paddles
7. Decorating until 3:30 am
8. Tazikis, taco bar, chicken salad, cupcakes, chicken pot pie, Iguana Grill (hey Phi MOOO)
9. Magic tricks 
10. The most beautiful, priceless, lasting memories with the most amazing women in the world

 

Quality Never Goes Out Of Style

Rush 2010!

It's that time of year again. Rush! I can't believe it is my last one. I couldn't be prouder of all we have planned. I love Phi Mu my sisters true!

Round 2

    I finished my first week of classes! Things have been weird but good. I miss my old classmates but I'm looking forward to spending more time with the friends I have in my new class. I am just ready to kick this class in the butt! Luckily, due to an odd schedule change + holiday weekend, I don't have class again until Friday, so I will have a lot of time to get ahead. My prayer for the coming weeks ahead is that I remember that God has me where I am for a reason. I can't see the end now but I know I will be grateful in the end. His plan is better than mine. When I was in China, Mrs. H used a great analogy for times like these. She said it's like when you're driving to a destination at night. You're headlights can't shine all the way to where you're going, just directly in front of you. God's going to give me the information as I go. Just enough to see what's right in front of me.
    Other than class and studying, I've been trying to spend as much time with my friends as possible. This summer taught me that nursing school isn't everything. I still need to do well, but I need to invest in the other parts of my life as well. It has been great being back with my friends. We've already had several adventures. Last night, we went down to the fair and had a blast. Today, Baker and I hiked at Oak Mountain State Park.

Ledonnel and I at the fair. Of course funnel cakes were a must.

About to hike to the falls!

    Cool story: on the way to the fair, we stopped at Chick-Fil-A for dinner. As we were leaving, I spotted a lady wearing a Maria's Big House of Hope shirt. I stalked her until she got off her phone so I could go over and talk to her. Turns out, she's from Nashville and she knows the Chapmans and is a big fan of Show Hope! It is so encouraging to meet people who support Show Hope and MBHOH. 

Home Sweet Dorm

Here's some pictures of my humble abode for my last year on campus

Desk area

Bed: notice my MBHOH pillow!

Closet

Bathroom

Kitchen/Bookshelf

I'll just have to wait

Have you ever missed something so bad that it hurts? I want to go back. I want to hold those babies in my arms. I want to talk, laugh, and worship with my team. I want to be surrounded by Chinese people. I want to wake up tomorrow morning in that big blue house. I guess I'll just have to wait for now.

Life Lessons

Summer is coming to a close and I have been reflecting on every thing I've learned. This summer has definitely a life changing one.  God has taught me so much but here are a few practical lessons I've learned.

1. If you go to China, wear skirts. It makes using a squatty potty a little easier.
2. On the same note, keep the little napkin packs they give you at restaurants; you never know where there won't be any toilet paper.
3. Uncrustables cut lunch making time in half.
4. Duck is delicious!
5. If you climb the Great Wall, choose to toboggan down. It is one of the most fun things you will ever do.
6. Don't feed the chickens in the circle.
7. Don't be afraid of using a saw.
8. Don't scratch bug bites, you might get a staph infection.
9. Don't be afraid to sit on a stranger's bed on an overnight train. You might make a new friend.
10. Don't take pictures with strangers
11. The Brady Bunch Movie is hilarious.
12. Look before you sit down. You might sit on a blueberry if you don't.
13. When working with kids, bring silly bands. It's their currency.
14. If you hear a whistle, get our of the way. You might get peed on by a kid with split pants.

I have been changed for good...

I can't believe that 2 months ago today I landed in China, my new favorite place on earth. I am not the same person now as I was when I boarded that 13 hour flight. I have made unbreakable bonds with the people I have met. I have developed new passions. I have fallen in love with the precious gifts from God that live in a big blue house. I have learned so much about myself and I have learned so much about my creator. I am looking forward to see where this road I have started out on leads me.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Comforting Words

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~Romans 8:38-39

Praying for my sweet friend. I wish I knew what to say. I love you!

Spirit of Adoption

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!
Romans 8:15


Spending time with the precious orphans this summer gives a whole new appreciation for this verse. It came up in Bible study tonight and made me smile. This verse came up frequently while we were in China. It is so amazing to think that God has adopted me as his own and now I am a co-heir with Christ! It is so comforting to think that I can cry out Abba Father and I don't have to fear. I have been rescued from a life of hopelessness. My Father has me in his hands! It also gives me comfort when I think of those dear kids. There is a father to the fatherless!

My China Story

,      Where to begin?  I suppose from the beginning... My heart for missions began in high school. Mission trips became a regular part of life. Luckily, God gave me so many opportunities. I was able to see so much of the world and love on so many of his people. I definitely took all of those opportunities for granted. The last trip I went on was to Kenya in 2007. In May of 2008, the Lord suddenly placed the country of China on my heart. I couldn't get the country, the people, and especially the orphans out of my head. I knew I had to go there. I just didn't know how or when. That same summer, the Chapman's daughter Maria, who was adopted from China, died. Through following this news story, I learned about Show Hope. The next school year, I continued praying for China and a chance to go there. Every once and a while, I would browse the Show Hope website, this is how I learned about a place for special needs orphans that was being built called Maria's Big House of Hope. I fell in love with that place from the second I saw it. I wanted to go there so badly. That year, I often worked the closing shift from 12-1 am in the library. One night, I was bored and decided to check out what was going on at Maria's. I found a link where you could apply to go on a mission trip to China to visit Maria's and I was so excited. I will never forget that night. As I began making the decision to apply, I never came to a peace about it.  I went back and forth. I was so scared of the price. $3,200 seemed like the biggest number I had ever seen in my life. I never gave the decision up to God. At the last minute, I decided to send in an application with no recommendation and with 1 minute to spare before the deadline. I still didn't feel at peace about it. The next week, while on spring break in Florida, I received an email saying that I hadn't been accepted to the trip. I put on a brave face but I was crushed. I knew God wanted me to go to China, why wasn't he letting me? However, I was also sort of relieved. I didn't have to work over the next few months to raise the money. Over the next year, my heart for the orphans of China grew and so did my desire to travel to China, specifically Maria's. I prayed for God to forgive me for not giving the decision up to Him and for him to open up the opportunity again for me to travel there the next summer. I frequently checked the website but there was no application for a trip to China. Then finally one day, I was once again working in the library and I received an email saying that Show Hope was going to take a trip to Maria's and applications were available. I had no doubts this time. I knew God could provide the money and I knew it was my time to go. I had an incredible peace that I didn't have before. I submitted my application and began waiting for March 5th, the day that Show Hope was going to let those who had been chosen know that they would be going.
     The day came. It was a Friday. I probably checked my email 100 times, everytime, there was no email from Show Hope. As the day went on, I became more and more upset because I thought I had been rejected again. I decided to take a nap to try and get my mind off of it. I was awakened by a phone call from my mother. I answered and was greeted by her voice saying: "You're going to China!" Katie McGunnigal left a message on my home phone earlier that day saying that I had been accepted. That was one of the best moments in my entire life. I celebrated by going to Moes and the dollar theatre that night. Lindsey bought me sour patch kids as a congratulations (that part isn't really essential to the story, just a fond detail of that day that sticks out in my head).  The preparations began. I mailed out support letters, got a new passport, sent in my visa application, and all the other preparations that go along with traveling to Asia. We got packets with team bios and I facebook stalked everyone. I felt so blessed and happy. I couldn't wait to see what God was going to do in my life.
    On April 16th, I was given news that crushed me. I was pulled aside after class and my professor told me that they were worried that they were setting me up to fail in nursing. I had 2 choices, drop the class now or they would give me an automatic fail at the end of the semester. I did not even see it coming. For those of you who know me, nursing was pretty much everything. Having to retake a class may not seem like a big deal but to me it was devastating. Besides going to China, it was the only thing I was absolutely sure that God wanted me to do with my life. I don't even know how to describe the emotions that I felt. I was angry. I felt betrayed by my professors. I was envious of all of my classmates that would be moving on next semester.  Most of all, I was defeated. I left school so broken and so bitter. That bitterness kept growing and overtaking me until I literally felt sick. I was worried that it was going to put a wall between me and God on the trip but I didn't know how to let it go. The Sunday before I left, I was crying during worship. I couldn't handle it anymore. Then we did this thing where we wrote what we wanted to give up to God on a piece of paper and left it on an altar in the front. Then we sang the words "and if our God is for us then who could ever stop us and if our God is with us then what could stand against" At that moment, I knew I was ready to go to China. I hadn't let it all go, but I was ready to go. 
     We met in Newark, NJ on Thursday, June 3. I was nervous but so excited. That night, we each told our stories of how God brought us there. It was so clear, that God specially picked our team and that he was going to move in us in incredible ways. If only I knew then how incredible it would be. A 13-hr plane ride, yurt stay, Great Wall climb, and a 10 hour overnight train ride later, we were pulling up to that beautiful big blue house. We had one mission: LOVE those kids as much as we possibly could. Every day was spent doing just that. On a typical day, we would wake up, play with babies, eat breakfast, play with babies, eat lunch, play with babies, do a devotion, play with babies, eat dinner, play with babies, devotion, bed. I wish I could just describe to you how much Maria's Big House of Hope is a beacon of God's love.
     As a team, we worked through a devotional that was so essential to my trip. On one day in particular, the instructions called for us to read the first chapter in "The Calvary Road" When I opened up my packet, I read the title of the chapter, "Brokeness" God began teaching me that it is good to be broken, it means having humility. One of the constant themes that we visited everyday in devotions was pride. I never realized how much that I struggle with pride. It gets in the way of everything. Suddenly, I was able to pick out little things like irritability, self-consciousness, fear, worry and trace them back to pride. I began praying for God to forgive and deliver me from myself. Once I was able to look past myself, I was able to see those beautiful precious children in a whole new light. I don't think I would have learned from or appreciated  all that God was pointing our if I hadn't been broken by all that happened in that last month of school.
     We went to China to bless those orphans, but to tell the truth, I think they blessed us more. One thing that I wrote several times in my journal was that I feel sorry for those families who are now missing out on experiencing the joys of the kids personalities. I will highlight just a few:

Isaac: so incredibly full of life and laughter 

Eli: gets the best smile award. he is mr. giggles.

                                      

Jim: never in my life have I met someone with so much love to give

                                                  

Gabriel: he loves until it hurts!

                                    

Carter: my little cuddle bug. i miss him falling asleep in my arms

                                    

Lola: that is the face of mischief right there. she is such a caring little mom though. it is never boring with her around. 

                                               

Grace: the little princess. she's a girl who knows what she wants. so funny and loves to turn on the charm. 

Franky: i love that sweet sweet girl. she is such a beauty. i think about her everyday. 

     I'll stop myself there. I could go on and on about these kids. When I looked into their faces, all of the junk that I left at home no longer mattered. These kids were so much more important than all of that. I began questioning and crying out to God: If he is a God of love, then how could he allow this orphan crisis go on? 143 million orphans was no longer just a number. It was 143 million little faces. How come I have a family that loves me and these kids were left abandoned? I even got to the point of wondering why he even allowed them to be born if he was just going to leave them alone. I just couldn't come to terms with it but then we kept coming back to a familiar verse. 

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.  

I have heard I have heard this verse too many times to count but now I can't help but thinking of my beautiful babies when I hear these words. God knows what he is doing. I cannot see the full picture yet but He has his hand held tightly around the kids at Maria's and the orphans all over the world. 

     In addition to the kids, God blessed me with the most amazing team.  I met 18 women and Mikey. Without any one of them, the trip would not have been the same. It is so comforting to bond with people who have the same passion for China and orphans that I do. Never have I been on a trip where the group was so unified. We didn't have any problems getting along. To my team: I feel so honored to watch God work in all of your lives. You have truly blessed my life in ways that you can never imagine. You are each so beautiful and I will keep remembering you in my prayers. I can't wait for the day when we are all together again in heaven.     

     This trip has taught me something so key about my creator. He is a God that delights in rising beauty from ashes. So much in this world has gone wrong but in him all things will work together for good. I am so thankful that I was rejected from the trip last year. It would not have been the same. As for school, I don't know if I am quite to the point where I am thankful that I am retaking that class, but If my heart had been in any other state going into this trip, I don't think I would have been able to fully absorb all that God was teaching me. I have also learned that God's calling in my life is not just about my career. I still believe that God wants me to be a nurse but nursing isn't everything anymore. God has called me to care for orphans. I am still not exactly sure what that will look like yet but right now I am just fine letting God take over and reveal his perfect plan in his perfect time. My trip may be over but my  journey is just beginning. 

The Lord Remembers

    I have been doing a Beth Moore Bible study called "A Woman's Heart God's Dwelling Place" this summer with some of my friends. I was behind on the daily lessons and exhausted from camp and was not expecting to get much out of tonight. I was wrong. Beth talked a lot about prayer tonight. Sometimes I forget how powerful it is. Every aspect of our lives is impacted by prayer. One thing that she said that I loved was "how differently would we pray if we prayed like God was listening?" That is so true. So often I pray and just hope that God heard me. Thanks to Jesus, all of my prayers are heard by God. He hears it all! He answers them all! Therefore, they are powerful.
    This Bible study is about the Old Testament tabernacle. In the tabernacle, prayers are represented by a continuously burning incense that resides just outside the Holy of Holies. Beth pointed out that the only thing separating them from God is a thin veil of the natural world. He is just on the other side!
     Lately, I have been feeling like my prayers are being unheard. Countless times I have cried out "God, can you hear me?" I have been so angry, thinking that it is so unfair that somethings come so easy to others and I am struggling so much. This is exactly what Beth talked about tonight. I needed it so much. I have literally spent this whole semester angry and  questioning God because of this. She had some very comforting words to offer through the story of Zechariah (which means the Lord remembers) and Elizabeth (check out Luke 1 for the story). "When something that comes easy to others but not us, maybe you were picked out, chosen to see the supernatural glory of God. Blessed are you when what to everyone comes naturally comes to you supernaturally." Amen Beth Amen! I have spent so much time worrying and complaining about things others have naturally that I don't and others do easily but I can't. To God be the glory. His blessings will come in his time, a time that will bring him all of the glory.

I can't wait to do a full update of what God taught me in China. I am still processing a lot of stuff. It is coming soon. I promise!

You’re the God of this City. You’re the King of these people. You’re the Lord of this nation.

I was avoiding doing a post today because I didn't want to turn out some cheesy 4th of July post about how awesome America is and yada yada yada. Truth be told, I started out today a little self-righteous and angry because I just wish people could see how life is in other countries. I just wish people knew that there is a life outside of this American bubble we live in. God quickly convicted me. I am not here to brag on this country and talk about how proud I am to be an American. I am just here to say that God put on my heart a thankfulness. I am thankful that I don't have to hide my Bible. I am thankful that I can go to church without having to be a foreign passport holder. I am thankful that there aren't limits here saying how many children a family can have and that we aren't under pressure to abandon our babies if we have more than one or something is wrong with a kid. I was also challenged this morning with how am I going to use this freedom that God has given me to show love to those who don't have the same advantage. There is a reason I was born here. What I am I going to do with it? Today, Thomas said something in Roots that I loved: "America isn't in the Bible. He doesn't love us more than other countries." It is so easy to become too proud to be American and start worshiping this nation. My challenge to you today is to pray for those all over the world that don't have the freedoms that we do.

As I was wrestling with all of this on the way to church this morning, the song God of this City by Chris Tomlin came on my ipod. One of my absolute favorite memories from the trip was sitting on the roof of MBHOH on our last night in Luoyang and singing this song with my team. I felt so much peace in that moment. My heart became heavy for the country that I love so much that I left a couple of weeks ago. I have been struggling since I have been back, feeling that God has forgotten those orphans and all of those people in Luoyang. Why couldn't we stayed and done more? Why couldn't God have just swooped in and rescued all of those kids and given them to families who want to love them. When that song played this morning, I was drawn back to that peace. I was reminded that God isn't finished there. He is still the God of the nations. He is still the Lord there. He isn't done!

Here are some pictures from that night on the roof

                                                

You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are

You're the light in this darkness
You're the hope to the hopeless
You're the peace to the restless
You are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like You God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

New Smiles!

When I was in China, I spent a ton of time on the 2nd floor of Maria's Big House of Hope. The special thing about this floor is that it is the home of the cleft lip/palate babies of MBHOH. For those who don't know, cleft lip/palate occurs when the lip and palate doesn't fully close before the baby is born. In America, we usually take care of this right away with surgery. We have special types of bottles also to almost fill the hole while the baby eats. The sweet little orphans in China, don't have these resources. These kids are at high risk of aspiration. They also frequently have ear infections due to the way that the anatomy is. A team has arrived to perform about 12 surgeries to repair the clefts. One of the great things about Maria's is that it has an operating suite on the 5th floor, so the kids will be able to go through pre-op, surgery, and post-op without ever having to leave MBHOH!
Go to blog.showhope.org to read more from one of our trip leaders, Mikey!

The cleft kids at Maria's brought me so much joy. I spent the majority of my time was spent in the middle room, the little mermaid room. Some of my favorite memories like Zachariah falling asleep in my arms, holding shy Ella, and fist bumping with Grace occurred in this room. Despite facial deformities, these kids have the BEST smiles. They laugh so often. You can't be sad when you're with them. We even joked sometimes that they are cuter with their clefts.
Here is one of my sweet cleft babies:


These kids lives are going to be changed by the surgeries. Please pray for the kids and the surgeons. Also, pray for the nurses and nannies that will care for them during recovery.

adjusting

Sorry I haven't given a detailed recount of my trip yet. I am still trying to adjust to being home. My heart is still grieving not being there. I miss it so much. I keep dreaming that I am back and expect to wake up back in that big blue house. I still have a load of laundry that I haven't washed because you can still faintly smell China. Things here just don't seem important anymore. Please pray for my precious babies that I left behind.

"home"

I got back from China this morning. Sorry I wasn't able to blog while I was gone but I am going to start updating about everything we did this week. I don't know if I am ever going to be able to fully adjust to being home. I cried most of the way home on the plane today. I miss that place and the people so much. My team has become my family and that big blue building has become my home. Today all I can think about is that one day we will all be home in heaven one day, where there are no goodbyes. Thank you to my beautiful girls who have made this the most amazing experience of my life.

Friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

3 days!

Sorry about my recent absence from the blogging world. Life has been crazy. I am trying to get ready for my trip but I don't even know where to begin packing for 2 weeks in Asia. Summer has started off pretty great. I worked for a bit in the doctors office. This week I have been hanging out with my family a lot- laying out by the pool, catching my mother up on Grey's, and of course watching the LOST series finale. My friends and I are doing Beth Moore's Bible study, A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place. I highly recommend it. I am learning so much about my sweet creator. Tomorrow is High Meadows Camps all staff training day. I'm kind of sad that I won't be around for the beginning of camp, but I have a feeling that it will be totally worth it : ) Please pray that I can get everything that I need to get done completed before I leave on Thursday!

Stand Strong

Be humble under God's powerful hand so he will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you. Control yourselves and be careful! The devil, your enemy, goes around like a roaring lion looking for someone to eat. Refuse to give in to him, by standing strong in your faith. You know that your Christian family all over the world is having the same kinds of suffering.
1 Pete 5:6-9

18 more days. Trying to stand strong against the enemy. Can't wait to see what the Lord has planned.

don't focus on the plan. focus on the creator of the plan.

People may make plans in their minds,
but only the Lord can make them come true.

You may believe you are doing right,
but the Lord will judge your reasons.

Depend on the Lord in whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

The Lord makes everything go as he pleases.
He has even prepared a day of disaster for evil people.

The Lord hates those who are proud.
They will surely be punished.

Love and truth bring forgiveness of sin.
By respecting the Lord you will avoid evil.

When people live so that they please the Lord,
even their enemies will make peace with them.
Proverbs 16:1-7

Over the past few days, I have discovered something key about by relationship with my Creator. I have known for 2 years now that God wants me to be a nurse. He revealed that to me through a long, sometimes painful, but very interesting process. During the last 2 years, I have put all of my energy into focusing on God's plan for me. Seriously, ask my friends, nursing is all I do. In my head, I thought I was doing right. I mean, I was focusing on what God wanted me to do, what could be wrong with that? Well, it seems that in all that focusing on God's plan, I have forgotten to focus on God. I haven't been leaning on him completely. I haven't been trusting him fully. I thought I was, but really I have been putting some of that on myself and there lies my problem. I can't do this on my own. I will surely fail. If I depend on God, however, everything will work out for his glory. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. I have someone ensuring that I will succeed!

Hakuna Matata: It means no worries.

I can't believe that I am leaving in one month! I am still in shock that God has provided me with this incredible opportunity to go to China this summer. There is one thing still standing in my way though. I still have a significant amount of money to raise and I have to have it by Friday. I know that God will provide the money, but I am human and have an incredible tendency to worry. For the past few years, I am often drawn to this passage in the Bible:

"So I tell you, don't worry about the food or drink you need to live, or about the clothes you need for your body. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothes. Look at the birds in the air. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, but your heavenly Father feeds them. And you know that you are worth much more than the birds. You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it.
"And why do you worry about clothes? Look at how the lilies in the field grow. They don't work or make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that even Solomon with his riches was not dressed as beautifully as one of these flowers. God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today but tomorrow is thrown into the fire. So you can be even more sure that God will clothe you. Don't have so little faith! Don't worry and say, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?' The people who don't know God keep trying to get these things, and your Father in heaven knows you need them. Seek first God's kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well. So don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have its own worries. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34

I spend so much of my time worrying, in fact over the past few weeks, I have made my self physically sick with worry. I try so desperately to have control over everything in my life that I can barely handle it when things don't go as I planned. This is so not the life that God has destined for me. He wants me to lay all of this worry on him because he has a way better plan for me than I do. Never in my life would I have guessed that God would put a fire in my heart for the orphans in China. I would have never told you that I would have a desperate desire to travel there. There is no other explanation but God. This is why I am confident that He will get me there. No amount of money is bigger than God! He provides for all of my needs.

Please pray for me and the rest of our team as we are raising our last support dollars. Pray that we don't let any worries get in the way of what God has in store.

Mambo Sawa Sawa

In July of 2007, I had the opportunity to go to Kenya on a mission trip with my youth group. There are no words to describe how amazing it was there. To give a little background, in the summer of 2006, one of my dear friends had a vision from God telling him to raise money to build a well in the desert of Africa. One of the purposes of the trip was to see the site where the well would be built. Having a well in such barren land would not only bring physical life to the area, but allow for incredible opportunities for God to bring spiritual life to the people there. It has been four long years but the well is officially running as of April 24th! God is so faithful to do what he says he is going to do. We got to experience the breathtaking beauty of God's creation and interact with some of God's precious children. It was a once in a lifetime experience. Please pray for the people that will be blessed by the well. Pray that they come to know the sweet love of Jesus

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14


Some of the children near the location of the well


One of the sweet kids.


Sunrise on the safari


God's beautiful creation


Giraffe kisses


The Fran Van!

For I Know the Plans I Have For You

The past few days have been an absolute whirlwind. The plans I have made for myself for the next few years have been turned upside down. I am trying so hard to trust that God has it all in control. God's plans for me are much better than what I have planned for myself. Although times are difficult right now, I am not giving up hope. I am still continuing to prepare for my trip to China. Things are starting to sink in. We had our first team meeting tonight and I just can't wait to see what God has in store for our team. Please continue to pray that our support comes in and that God prepares our hearts for what he is going to do.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

I will be glad and rejoice in your love

The past few days have been absolutely nerve wracking. Some tough decisions had to be made about school and it was completely out of my hands. I wish I could say that I gave my worry over to God better than I did. However, God has once again proven faithful. Things with school are ok for now. Satan is doing all he can do to get me down in preparation for this trip but he will not succeed! Thank you to all of my prayer warriors the past few days!

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, because you saw my suffering; you knew my troubles. You have not handed me over to my enemies but have set me in a safe place. Psalm 31:7-8

father to the fatherless

I love Wednesdays because on this day I have OB clinicals. Today, I got to witness the birth of a beautiful little baby. It is so exciting to see a family welcome this new life as a part of their family. My heart is filled with joy when I see the love surrounding the birth of a baby. However, it is also so painful to think about those children who don't have a family to love them with everything they've got. Please continue to pray for me as I prepare for my trip this summer to work with the forgotten orphans of China. Pray that these kids come to know the love of their heavenly father, who never forgets them.

Sing to God, sing praise to his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds—
his name is the LORD—
and rejoice before him.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
Psalm 68:4-5
你 們 當 向 　 神 唱 詩 ， 歌 頌 他 的 名 ； 為 那 坐 車 行 過 曠 野 的 修 平 大 路 。 他 的 名 是 耶 和 華 ， 要 在 他 面 前 歡 樂
神 在 他 的 聖 所 作 孤 兒 的 父 ， 作 寡 婦 的 伸 冤 者 。

hope

We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We do not know what to do, but we do not give up the hope of living. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

Jesus paid it all

Today is Good Friday. To be honest, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't really thinking about the importance of this day. The busyness of life has been getting in the way of constantly praising the God who died so that I may live. I went to the Good Friday service put on by Passion City Church tonight and it was truly amazing. The weather was perfect (compared to last year's tornado). Jesus was moving. I was reminded that I don't have to earn my salvation. There is no amount of good deeds that I have to do earn God's approval, which is good because I screw up so often. Jesus, who never sinned died for me, so that I could spend eternity with him. The concept is still so unbelievable to me. God, who is over everything, loves me so much that he would send his son to die. He knows me and loves me. I am so thankful that he is in control of my life.
I want to leave you with these verses. Louie read these tonight and it really comforted me to know that with Christ, I am free:
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different. With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.
Romans 7:21-8:2 (The Message)

My first post!

Well, I have decided to join the blogging world. I don’t know if anyone will actually read this but I wanted to have a way to share what God is doing in my… the things am I seeing, learning, and doing. I chose this verse as the title of my blog because it is the essence of what God is teaching me in my life right now. As some of you may know, I am going to China this summer to work with orphans. Since the summer of 2008, God has placed a soft spot in my heart for the country of China, especially the orphans forgotten by most. Ever since then, I knew that God would bring me there someday but I didn’t know how or when. It has been a long process involving pain and prayer but I am finally going! God is proving himself to be completely faithful. Details that I lay awake worrying about are coming together in ways that can only be from God’s hand. So, my request is that you keep this trip and me in your prayers. Pray that God does incredible and life changing things.